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Heroic Faith: Gay Mormons
By AllAboutMormons.com Webmaster - 4/5/2009 |
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For 150 years, Mormons all around the world have thought about those early pioneers with great admiration. “Could I make that kind of sacrifice for God?” many ask themselves. As an avid reader of Mormon blogs, I have had the privilege of hearing from many people who have made this kind of heroic sacrifice. They don't have a passive faith; their faith compels them to do things that are personally inconvenient, but they value their dedication to God more than their personal desires.
Gay Mormons
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Putting God First
“Why do [I] live [my] life [as an active latter-day saint]? … I would give up much more than I would gain [were I to abandon my faith]. There is no doubt I have a strong desire to be with a man. Such a relationship would be fun and fulfilling to a degree, but I would forfeit many other things. The peace and happiness I receive from living the Gospel the best I can is real. I love the Lord, His commandments, and my covenants with Him.” (LDSGayRM)
“I have found, even in the light of SSA, when I put the Lord first through obedience and thought, the SSA falls into it's proper place, and much of it has fallen out of my life. I think the more we do this, the closer we come to our eternal potential. When we put the Lord first - no matter what, one day we'll wake up and realize just how much we've changed. It really is amazing.” (How I Deal)
“I knew that if I wanted to be in a same sex relationship, I would have to know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was not the true church. Over the coming months, I immersed myself in scripture study and prayer. I attended meetings and even accepted a calling in the ward. Ever so slowly, the spirit of truth and righteousness crept into my life until I knew that I could not deny the truthfulness and goodness of the Savior… [I am ] a Latter Day Saint who likes men but loves God.” (LDSPride)
They Love God and His Teachings, and so they Carry on
“I served [a mission], did my part. Hope that I did some good. Came home still liked guys. But I had gained something I didn't have before I left. A real testimony of the gospel and the atonement, not just a belief in God.” (Views from the Crow's Nest)
“In struggling with Same Gender Attraction, I realize that I have been given much…I now realize all that God has given me to help me with my struggles of Same Gender Attraction… And ultimately, I know and recognize that all this has come from Heavenly Father. He promised that He wouldn't leave us down here alone. I'm grateful to Him for all He has blessed me with.” (A Struggler)
“Because of the peace I experience as I strive to know and live the doctrines of the gospel, I continue striving and moving forward. It's not easy, but the reward is worth it… I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe in the gospel -- the good news -- he declared while he lived on earth. I also believe that he does call prophets and apostles to speak for him today. Because I know they represent Christ, I trust my life to their teachings.” (Jake Beane)
“Through my trials, especially with SSA, I am coming to know who the Lord really is. I am beginning to know Him and what He wants. But just as importantly, my trials are helping me know who I am. Stripped of pride, I see that I am strong. Humbly, I see just how brave it is to face another day even with all the obstacles ahead of me. I've learned that even when it feels like I am ready to break, knowing that God won't push me further than I can handle has allowed me to find out just how far I can go. Then when God releases the pressure and I am able to relax a bit, I see that I endured more than I ever though possible” (Reaching Upward)
“I have a testimony of the religious principles which I claim as my own. I could no more deny that than I could deny the law of gravity.” (LDS with SSA)
They Don't Define Themselves Principally by their Homosexuality, but by their Relationship with God
“Even from a young age, I knew I was Mormon. I just felt different from all the other kids. All the other kids would talk about revivals and the importance of their youth ministers in their lives and I just couldn't relate. I would just smile and nod. What would they think if they knew that sitting right next to them was a kid who not only didn't believe in the Trinity as established by the Nicene Creed, but also accepted modern prophetic revelation and an open canon of scripture? Could they accept me for who I was? I doubted it. It all became public when they found me on the back seat of the bus reading The New Era. My secret was out. I was Mormon and everyone knew. But instead of feeling ashamed, I felt relieved. I felt free. I was Mormon and I didn't care who knew it!” (Soy Made me Gay)
“Being gay is a part of who I am, but it's not the biggest slice of this pie. My relationship with God is more important. I want to live with Him again; I know it may be a tough road to tread, but I'm willing…” (EJ Mose)
“I'm a return missionary, a member in full standing in the church, and I attend the temple. And I happen to be gay.” (Drex Olympus)
“I'm a very active LDS husband, father and RM, who struggles with SGA (same-gender attraction). I firmly believe in the Gospel and strive to live its teachings. This attraction… [is] only part of who I am. I do love my Savior and Heavenly Father...” (Hope in the Future)
“What does it really mean to be gay, married and an active, believing member of the Mormon faith? Will I ever be able to fully live the religion? Am I just maintaining a charade? It doesn't feel that way. This feels real, it feels like me. This is who I am. I'm not doing this to live up to somebody else's expectations. I'm doing this because it's what I want to do. I feel no anger at the church. I've had no bad experiences with respect to being gay and in the church, even when I've come out to church leaders and a few friends. It's all been positive.” (Gay Mormon Edge)
Online Resources for those who Struggle with Same-Sex Attraction
Northern Lights, North Star, and Evergreen International
3 Comments » Leave a comment
- Kengo Biddles
4-28-2009, 08:13:05 AM
As one of the ones you've termed to be heroic, I thank you for your support. It's not always easy, but as my wife and I have said many a time, it's worth the effort. - Anonymous
4-4-2010, 07:12:48 PM
Thanks for this great article. I know it's dedicated to help people who struggle with a certain sexual tendency, but they are still valuable people and children of our Heavenly Father. I'm a young man, 24 years old, and I've been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints my whole life. I'm an active member, but I'm sorry to say I'm not very happy. I haven't been able to make many friends, or to find a girlfriend. I've just dedicated myself to my callings that I've had since I was 12 years old. I'm not very popular, but that's the case for many young people who try to follow Christ. They live for others.
El Santo Gringo: Hi friend. Thanks for your comment. Being a young man is very difficult, regardless of sexual orientation. Many young people, both in and out of the Church, feel they don't have enough friends or that they are not very popular. It is a very difficult stage in life. Unlike most young people, however, you clearly have a sense of duty and a service-oriented attitude. In the end, you'll see that these qualities will bring you a lot of joy. Just keep on the path.
In my mind, there is a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is a sort of transient contentment, a comfortable feeling. As president Faust taught a few years ago, God loves us much more than He loves our happiness. For this reason, He allows us to pass through difficult times that will bring us personal growth, even if they don't make us happy. Joy, on the other hand, is a deep feeling of spiritual and emotional fulfillment. As the Book of Mormon explains, “men are that they might have joy.” Dedication to God and family will bring this deep sense of fulfillment. It can take years, but it's a blessing you'll certainly have if you remain faithful. God bless you, friend. - Chris
8-26-2010, 01:03:43 PM
So to start off, I'm gay and a member of the church. I don't plan on marriage and I do date but I've made the committment to stay sexually abstinant until either my attraction goes away or revelation is given to the prophet stating that same-sex marriage isn't sinful.
I've known I was gay since I was 14 but coming to terms has only brought me closer to God and I'm thankful for a church that both loves and respects me no matter what my orientation is.
It breaks my heart when I see other gays and lesbians forsake the gospel because of feelings of alienation, whether real or perceived.
In a discussion with one such person yesterday, I could literally feel the pain in his heart; he was filled with anger, distress, and betrayal.
We live in a world where more and more youth like myself are discovering they're gay and instead of running or hiding, they're coming out proud and strong; this should be celebrated.
Equally celebrated should be those who find peace with God and themselves, faith and orientation.
This person called the church a fraud, a liar, and many other things I'd rather not repeat and it made me wonder where this hostility came from; watching the dichotomy between the gay community and the Christian community, I didn't have to look far.
All of this said, I'd like to share with all of you what I shared with him in hopes that it will edify the situation we face:
"I'm both gay and mormon and I'd like to say that such confrontationalism is killing me and those like me. We have our faith and desire to hold onto it without being chastised by our GLBT brothers and sisters, we want to be honest about our orientation without being chastised by our LDS brothers and sisters; such a situation is possible, but not when the only communication between the two sides are calls to war and damnation of the other. "
This is not to say that the church has been confrontational, far from it, she has been a role-model for all Christendom.
The problem lies not within the institutions but within the individuals; if followers of Christ cannot act with compassion and understanding towards those identifying as gay, it will never matter what our church policy is.
Thankyou to the man who put this website together and thankless all for listening to what I've had to say.
El Santo Gringo: Hi Chris. I really appreciate the comments you shared on my site, AllAboutMormons.com. Too many people believe they have to choose between being gay and being Mormon. Because we don't talk about same-gender attraction much in the Church, many don't realize that there are many faithful members of the Church who struggle with this kind of attraction, and that that struggle is noble. Anyone can do the right thing when it's easy; it's noble when we do what's right even when it's hard. I really appreciate your willingness to share your story, Chris, so others will know that it is possible to be a faithful member no matter what challenges we face. God bless you.