Do you accept asexuality? I feel like it's not that uncommon. I'm not talking about feeling attracted to someone of the same sex. I'm talking about not being sexually attracted to anyone, regardless of gender. Could I be baptized? Maybe it's just a phase of adolescence. I'm 20 years old. Thanks for your help.

Veronica from Mexico, 7/18/2010

El Santo Gringo from La Jolla, California:

Hi Verónica. You're not the first person to ask that question on this site. Marriage is very important not only in Mormon culture but also in Mormon theology. Mormons believe that both husband and wife need each other to progress in the next life.

However, the leaders of the Church have stated that those who through no fault of their own cannot marry in this life will not be denied blessings in the next life. For example, those who struggle with same-sex attraction but choose to be active Mormons (and there are tens of thousands of them) are not expected to marry in this life. Now I realize that asexuality and homosexuality are very different things, but one could argue that most people who are asexual should not marry, and that they are not at all at fault for their asexuality, using the same kinds of arguments.

Who knows how your sexuality will develop over time. Perhaps one day you will be able to marry. Even if not, you can certainly be a member of the Church. I've belonged to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for many years, and it's been a rich blessing in my life. I cannot begin to describe the love I feel in my heart for Jesus Christ and His restored gospel. His divine influence is transforming my life, and I know it can transform yours too. I invite you to request a visit from the Mormon missionaries if you'd like to learn more. You can also learn the address and meeting time of the chapel nearest your house if you'd like to visit us some Sunday. Let me know if you have any more questions! God bless you on your spiritual journey.

Pamela Dean from Clarenville:

One important thing to remember is that sexual attraction is not the same as sexual intimacy. Both can exist without the other. The expectation would be that you seek to find someone who is temple worthy to marry, that you remain temple worthy yourself, that once married you and your sppouse would decide together how many children you want to have, and that you remain faithful to your spouse. Whether one feels sexual attraction or not is a personal matter, and does not mean that one cannot have a mutually fulfilling marriage with or without children as long as both spouses are committed to each other and to the gospel.

El Santo Gringo: Pamela brings up a good point. As long as you're completely honest with your future spouse from the get go, perhaps marriage would be possible. I've received emails from people who struggle with same-sex attraction who are nevertheless in fulfilling marriages with members of the opposite sex, for example. It's not recommended if the same-sex feelings can't be kept in check, but is a possibility for those who are prepared and comfortable enough with the idea of marriage. Perhaps a similar principle applies to those who are asexual.

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