What is the church's stance on gay and lesbian marriage?

Anonymous from Fort Collins, 1/28/2010

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El Santo Gringo from La Jolla, California:




Hi friend. Thanks for your question about gay marriage. As you can imagine, this is a very challenging topic. It's easy to choose between good and evil. It's much more difficult, however, to choose between good, better, and best. There's no denying that gay marriage would make many people very happy. In some sense, it would be a good thing. However, the challenging question is, would it be the best thing? Would it be the best thing for society as a whole?

The church recognizes that the traditional family, the foundation of our society, has been under attack in recent decades. As the family has deteriorated because of changing social policies, our society has also deteriorated to an alarming extent. First, we as a society decided to permit no-fault divorce. Couples can now divorce on a whim even in the absence of infidelity, abuse, or other serious conflicts.

Next, out-of-wedlock births became commonplace as people, mostly men, decided that taking responsibility for their offspring was no longer important. Many single moms and dads do a noble job trying to raise their children as best they can. Their efforts should be celebrated, but there's no denying that the optimal familial arrangement includes both a mother and a father.

More recently, people's view of marriage has continued to change. Marriage is now seen by many as an unnecessary burden instead of a profound blessing. Couples often live together without being married at all. The greatest victims of this deterioration of the family are undoubtedly the children.

As past social experiments with marriage have had disastrous results, the church is understandably reluctant to support but another social experiment. We need, as a society, to return to the traditional family values upon which our civilization is founded rather than abandoning those values entirely.

Jesus Christ
A statue of Jesus Christ at temple square in Salt Lake City.
That having been said, Jesus Christ clearly taught that we should love and respect all people. All people have infinite intrinsic value because all are children of God. Even if we disagree with their behavior, gays and lesbians should be treated with respect. The church recently demonstrated the need for this respect by endorsing anti-discrimination laws to protect gays and lesbians in Utah. These laws almost certainly would not have passed without the church's support.

Many people, including some members of the church, have misunderstood official church teachings regarding this matter. I tried to clarify in a recent article entitled "Are Mormons Gay-Haters?" Perhaps you would find that article interesting.

Some of the most impressive members of the church struggle with same-sex attraction. I've also discussed these faithful Mormons in an article entitled "Heroic Faith: Gay Mormons."

It's also worth mentioning that not all members of the church agree with the church's official position regarding gay marriage. Certainly, respectful dissent in this case is compatible with church membership. I hope this information helps.

If you have a question, you might find it helpful to chat with a Mormon missionary online.

Richard from Orem:


God created the duality of sexes for this life, the one complimenting the other, in both physiological and mental compatible ways. We know through revealed doctrine that there was a duality of sexes in the pre-mortal life too. This isn't just something made up on our earth. See also the talk 'Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments' by Jeffrey Holland along with 'He Heals the Heavy Laden' by Dalen Oaks.

Anonymous from Oregon:


Though I am only fourteen, I have very strong beliefs on this matter. Marriage or romantic realationships should be between a man and woman. In the Family: Proclamation to the World the First Presidency says: "We believe marriage between a man and woman is estenaital to his plan. The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for his children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."

My uncle is gay and was raised a member of the church. My family loves and respects him and his partner. We love my uncle just as much as we would if he wasn't gay. Yet this doesn't mean we agree with his behavior. Mormons should and do love and respect gays and lesbians yet we have a strong belief that marraige is between a man and a woman. We don't know all the reasons for everything, and we certainly don't have all the answers.

I hope this helped you, I know that Heavenly Father is just and caring, and we are not ones to judge other's situations and how they feel. Heavenly Father loves everyone equally and perfectly.
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