The guy that I was dating for about six months fully broke the law of chastity many times. I know what we did was wrong and I have attempted to repent. But I feel that he hasn’t and won’t. He is LDS and left for his mission shortly after so I am basically hearing about this through letters I get from him. I have started talking to missionaries but I was wondering if I needed to tell them about this when I would have a baptismal interveiw? I am also worried about what this is doing to him. What do you think I should do about him?

Anonymous from Columbus, Ohio, United States,



2 Responses to “The guy that I was dating for about six months fully broke t…”


El Santo Gringo
February 12, 2012
Baptism into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints requires full immersion in water by a person who holds the priesthood authority to baptize.

Hi friend. Frist off, let me congratulate you for your continued interest in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This church has been such a powerful influence for good in my life. We’ve all made mistakes, but through Christ’s atoning sacrifice we can be made whole once again. I’ve received this comforting knowledge because of my membership in Christ’s restored gospel. I hope you can find this same peace and joy.

The missionaries who interview a potential convert are not the same ones who teach that convert. The interviewing missionaries typically keep any confessions, if needed, in strict confidence. If I’m not mistaken, confession of sexual sins is not even required. Rather, a promise of future faithfulness to the “law of chastity” is all that’s needed. The missionary handbook “Preach my Gospel” lists the following baptismal-interview questions:

1. Do you believe that God is our Eternal Father? Do you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Savior and Redeemer of the world?

2. Do you believe the Church and gospel of Jesus Christ have been restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith? Do you believe that [current Church President] is a prophet of God? What does this mean to you?

3. What does it mean to you to repent? Do you feel that you have repented of your past transgressions?

4. Have you ever committed a serious crime? If so, are you now on probation or parole? Have you ever participated in an abortion? a homosexual relationship?

5. You have been taught that membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints includes living gospel standards. What do you understand of the following standards? Are you willing to obey them?

a. The law of chastity, which prohibits any sexual relationship outside the bonds of a legal marriage between a man and a woman.

b. The law of tithing.

c. The Word of Wisdom.

d. The Sabbath day, including partaking of the sacrament weekly and rendering service to fellow members.

6. When you are baptized, you covenant with God that you are willing to take upon yourself the name of Christ and keep His commandments throughout your life. Are you ready to make this covenant and strive to be faithful to it?

As you can see, the missionaries are not instructed to ask about past heterosexual relationships. Even in the case of past criminal convictions, abortion, and homosexuality, the missionaries only ask to verify that the repentance process has been completed. As a missionary, I met both a woman who had had an abortion and a man who had had a past homosexual experience. Both were welcomed into the Church.

That you are concerned for your friend’s spiritual welfare shows that you really do care for him. You are right that his spiritual progress is in great jeopardy. Missionary work requires a lot of preparation, and the greatest preparation needed is a full repentance of sins, especially serious sins like the one you described.

I don’t understand how your friend can teach repentance, confession, and chastity when he himself has not repented and confessed. If I were you, I’d encourage him via letters to confess his sins to his mission president and let the cards fall where they may.

You should be congratulated, though, for your desire to forsake your old sins through baptism and to begin a new life as a disciple of Christ. As Christ said, “go and sin no more.” Best of luck to you.

Anonymous
February 15, 2012

Thank you for your response. I will be sure to follow your advice and address this issue the next time I write him.

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