I heard from a friend that if you had sex outside of marriage you cannot enter or get sealed in the temple until a year after you have started the repentance process. I had not heard this before and I was just wondering if this was really true or not. If it is not, how long do you have to wait?

Anonymous from San Luis Obispo ,



3 Responses to “I heard from a friend that if you had sex outside of marriag…”


AllAboutMormons.com Webmaster
March 8, 2009
Mormon Temple
The Mormon temple in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Hi friend. As you probably know, Mormon temples are not the same as Mormon chapels. Chapels are used for weekly worship services and are open to the public. In fact, we encourage visitors. In temples, however, Mormons make sacred promises to God. One should never make those kinds of sacred promises lightly, so it takes a lot of preparation to participate in the temple ceremonies. If someone is having sex outside of marriage, they are clearly not prepared to participate in the temple ordinances. They need to repent and begin the preparation process anew.

The Gospel Principles manual says the following about marriage: “Before we can go to the temple, we must be active, worthy members of the Church for at least one year.” Based on this, I suspect that what you heard is correct. The preparation process takes at least a year.

I don’t know your specific situation, but if you are contemplating sex outside of marriage, please don’t make the mistaken of trading something eternal and precious for momentary pleasure. Don’t trade your birthright for a bowl of pottage.

Anonymous
March 8, 2009

That is true for all that I know dealing with just premarriage sex, but the fact that you have sex before marriage usually says that there is more going on then just one experience. This would probably tip off the bishop to investigate further and make sure that all of your sins are confessed, accounted for, and you’re on your way on the correct path.

I had problems premaritailly and my issues were much more then just one instance. It took me almost 20 years to get all my problems under control and myself moving forward, strongly, and at peace with the church.

My suggestion, talk to your bishop if it has occured and start asap so you can finish asap. If you don’t have problems such as this, don’t go out seeking for them. Life is much easier when you follow the commandments, or boundaries of happiness.

Pamela Dean
March 8, 2009
Mormon Temple
The Recife Mormon temple in Recife, Brazil.

For latter day saints the temple is the holiest place on earth – it is literally the house of God. We believe that nothing impure or unclean can enter into Heavenly Father’s presence. Therefore, in order to enter a holy temple, one must prove worthiness by obtaining a temple recommend. One of the items that must be answered is a statement of sexual purity, otherwise known as chastity. This is defined as having intimate relations with no one except your lawfully wedded spouse. Breaking of this law of chastity – as well as other infractions or sins – usually requires a process of repentance. This includes faith in our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, sorrow for the sin commited, confession to Heavenly Father (and in serious transgressions such as those involving chastity or abuse confession to one’s bishop), an abandonment of sin, restitution if required, and righteous living. This process is designed to be forgiving, humbling, faith building, and life changing. As such, the repentance process takes into account many factors and may be solely between oneself and one’s bishop, or may need to be referred by one’s bishop to the stake presidency, and in serious cases even to church headquarters. Because of the intricacies of each individual case, this process can take a long time to complete. Because of the serious consequences for both parties, their families, children, and potential children, this offence cannot be treated lightly. Thus, a person who is willing to allow brief physical satisfaction to jeopardize their eternal salvation is not ready to enter God’s holy and sacred temple, nor are they prepared to learn about and understand the many blessings that result from temple attendance.

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