I'm 19 years old, and I've had a Mormon boyfriend for the last three years. He's now serving his mission. I've been talking with the missionaries, and I've read a little from the Book of Mormon. I went to church last Sunday and felt so happy. When I was in the sacrament meeting room I started to cry. I felt so wonderful that I couldn't stop crying. I want to be baptized, and I even have a baptismal date, but my parents are against it. One time I told my dad I was going to the Mormon church, and he became very angry with me. He even told me that he'd disown me if I joined the church. I'm determined to be baptized, but I'm afraid just the same. Just today, my mom told me that if I changed religions she'd forget I ever existed. I'm going to be baptized anyway, but I'm very sad about my family's reaction. Please, help me!

Anonymous, 11/29/2009

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Webmaster from La Jolla, California:




Hi friend. Let me start by saying how happy I am that you have found peace and joy through scripture study and church attendance. I know your life must be very difficult right now, but amidst all your challenges don't forget that your testimony of Jesus Christ and His restored gospel is a wonderful blessing!

I think most human beings are naturally drawn to God and naturally love their families. It's so hard when these two natural desires conflict with each other. My brother has a good friend struggling with this same conflict. God has commanded us to honor our parents, but He's also commanded us to come unto Him through baptism by the proper authority, regular worship in His restored church, and acceptance of the sacred temple ordinances. I think there's no easy resolution to this conflict.

Many parents don't want their children to join the church because they've received inaccurate information about the Mormons. As you probably know, anti-Mormons spread a lot of misinformation about our church. Many parents have heard that the LDS Church is a cult, that we are not Christian, that we don't worship Jesus Christ, etc, etc. You and I are familiar with the church first hand; we know that these allegations aren't true, but many others don't have this first-hand experience. Perhaps you could help your parents better understand what the LDS Church is really about. Try not to blame them. If I thought my child was joining a "cult," I'd probably encourage him not to join as well! It's not your parents' fault that they've been deceived by anti-Mormon propaganda.

Unfortunately, it may be that your parents will not listen to reason. In this case, I encourage you to spend a lot of time on your knees asking God for guidance. He'll lead you in the right direction.

I've learned from personal experience that the sweetest things in life are the things we have to struggle to obtain. Too many members of the church have a passive faith. They automatically go through the "motions of Mormondom" because that's what their parents, siblings, and friends do. Even those of us who are already members of the church need to have our faith challenged. We need to constantly dissect our own faith and analyze and prayerfully challenge each component. The faith we'll have after reassembling each of these tempered parts will be stronger because it's a faith we fought to obtain. In this same spirit, perhaps the challenges you face from your parents are a blessing in disguise. Maybe these challenges are part of God's plan for you. You'll value your faith more in the end because you had to struggle to obtain it. Because of your struggle, the blessings of the gospel will be all the sweeter.

I can think of few circumstances that would justify disowning a child, and I'm sorry that you're passing through this difficulty. May God bless your parents that their minds will be opened, if not before your baptism, then perhaps afterwards. Best of luck to you!

Richard from Orem:


I hope you can think upon your parents as just wanting to protect you and do the best for you, and at the same time I feel they need to respect you for you choices. Your free to choose your own feelings.

If I were you I would start by praying and asking for help and strength to live with the outcome no matter what it is. I would then attempt to explain to your parents, calmly, how you respect their oppinions, but you have grown to adulthood, perhaps when they weren't looking, and have made an adult decision and you are going through with it.

Your situation reminds me of the movie "Fiddler on the Roof" when the second oldest daughter, Hodel, and Perchek inform Tevya (the father) they are getting married. He throws a fit, but what tells himself what can he do? Even with the third daughter, Havela, who according to Tevya goes and "marries outside the faith" and she becomes "dead to us", he eventually comes to learn to be ok with it because deep down he does love his daughter more then he loves to hate her. I don't know if you've seen the movie, but perhaps you could rent it or borrow it and loan it to you parents for some help for them. This actually may be the area you should start with for the sake of not comming out "in open rebellion" toward them which might just set them more aflame.

FYI: The fear you're feeling is natural. This church and living the gospel are completly worth more then anything this world can give to you. Yes there will still be trials and hardships in your life, but through living as best you know how in this gospel, and asking for help through your prayers, Christ will help you through your problems, whatever they may be. (see Book of Mormon: Ether 12:27)

And besides I've heard stories of parents, upon seeing just how happy their "rebellious child" has become, asctually down the road, have their hearts softened and they look into the church for themselves. Not saying that will happen, but God works in mysterious ways and if you pray to him for help, with faith, he can and does work miracles.

Best of luck and I'll pray for you. Yes I don't know your name, but God knows you and this situation, so he'll bless the right you. Good luck and I testify all you need is a little faith, as Christ told his disiples as much as a grain of mustard seed, and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Start with hoping for the best and then know that he is able to do everything that needs to be done, right for you all. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Pamela Dean from Clarenville:



When I was baptized I received a lot of criticism as well. Eventually, I finally said to those people that I felt I was making a change for the better in my life and I wanted to know what part of what I changing they disagreed with. After all, I was agreeing to go to church, read scriptures, pray, eat well, exercise, love my family, love God, be chaste, and not drink or smoke or do drugs. In my situation, that worked. Remember what Christ said... "And another also said, lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house. And Jesus said unto him, no man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." Luke 9: 61-62. If I was in your situation, I would explain to my family why I was making this decision, and that you love them and want their support, but that ultimately you are going to be baptized. I would also tell them that you still want them in your life, and want to continue to have a relationship with them as long as they show respect towards you. Prayers and blessings to you as you endure this trial, and congratulations on your upcoming baptism.

Anonymous from South Carolina:


I am also 19, also have been dating a Mormon guy for a few years, and was recently baptized, so we have quiet a few things in common.

I talked to the missionaries and attended church without telling my parents because my biggest fear at that moment was them telling me they would disown me. My parents only had bad things to say about the LDS church and would become angry when I discussed wanting to learn more. I prayed about it for days and the next time I saw my mom I had the perfect opportunity to tell her about my decision. To my surprise, she was ok with it and both my parents attended my baptism!

I'm not sure how much this helps you, but I hope it makes you feel less alone in your situation and to know that blessing will come your way. I hope things become easier for soon. Prayer is a powerful tool.

Peter from Ottawa, Ontario Canada:


Hello 19 yr old. I went through a similar experience many years ago. My wife converted to mormonism 3 years before I met her. I joined the church the year after we me. Then we got married. Yet her parent blamed me for her conversion.

Her younger sister wanted to do a high school project on the mormons. She asked me for information. Her father was so angry he threatened to kill me. He said "they" took one daughters away from him and he would not let them take another. I told him I was not trying to convert her. I was only helping her with her school work. She is still not a member of the church.

I am the only member of the church in my family. I am the 6th of 8 children. My father was very upset when I joined. A few years after, I found out that the reason he was angry was because he made a promise to keep me in the Catholic faith when I was Christened as a baby.

My oldest brother was so angry when I invited him to my baptism he spent 2 hours trying to convince me that I was making a terrible mistake. After patiently listenning to his concerns I simply told him that I had prayed to God to know if the church was true. I had received an answer to my prayers and there was nothing anyone could do or say. I knew my prayers were answered by God.

I was 28 when I joined. Now I'm 53, we have 4 wonderful children who are active in the church. Our oldest was married in the Montreal temple in July. My sister was the only member of my family to attend the reception.

Remember there is oposition in all things.

Your decision is between you and God. He is the source of all truth. He will answer you prayers.

Webmaster: Wow, Peter! I can't believe the sacrifices you've made! Thank goodness it isn't generally that difficult to join the church. :) Thanks so much for sharing your inspiring story.
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