I’m a convert, and I like a boy who was born in the church. He recently told me that a few months ago he broke the law of chastity with another girl who isn’t a member. I’m having a hard time understanding that, because I’m looking for a man in the church who’s willing to wait until marriage. But I really like this boy. I’m not sure what to do. Can you give me some advice?

AnĂ³nimo,
(Comment originally posted in Spanish)


3 Responses to “A boy I like broke the law of chasitity”


Fernando Delgado
November 20, 2016

Hi sister. What a difficult situation. Just because someone is born in the church doesn’t mean that he or she is truly converted. I worry that your friend might need to strengthen his testimony.

If he recently broke the law of chastity, he’s probably not in a good place to date right now. If he’s trying to repent of his sin, it would be good for you to offer kindness, support, and friendship. Give him some time to recover from this spiritual mistake. Then perhaps the two of you can consider a romantic relationship.

I hope this advice helps you.

Dogtired
April 8, 2017

Members of the Church believe that marriages performed in temples are sealed, or blessed to last for eternity.

YOU should ensure you remain virtuous. As was said, not all who attend Church are converted.

Please do not shun the sinner, though. He needs God’s love and maybe can be brought to repent. As was discussed in conference, we don’t want to cultivte a culture of shame, but inclusion. That doesn’t mean you should become romantically involved with this boy, though. That would probably be a huge mistake, unless and until he comes back to the Lord.

Remember, all sin and fall short of the glory of God. This boy CAN be made whole again through repentance. It can be hard to accept someone that does not live up to our expectations. It may be this is something that is so important to you that he cannot be part of your life. That is a call only you can make. I remember it was critical to me to marry a woman who had served a mission–for reasons that made sense at the time. I did that. But years later, I thought how foolish that was of me–how if my dear wife had not felt it the Lord’s will to serve I would have missed out on marrying her!

If he Is worthy to serve a mission, if he is worthy to enter the temple, if he is worthy before the Lord, it MAY be worth considering if he is worthy of marrying. I can guarantee you that any man you marry will disappoint you, probably many times. You may even learn he was unchaste. I am not saying you SHOULD be romantically involved with this boy, just that it may be worth asking if the standards you have are the standards you truly want.

Anonymous
January 31, 2017

Well said

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