My boyfriend and I are both return missionaries. He is separated from his wife, but he's still married. We've been together for 4 years, and during this time we've broken the law of chastity. I love him, but how can I turn something so profane into a temple marriage?

Anonymous, 8/16/2010

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El Santo Gringo from La Jolla, California:




Hi friend. As a return missionary, I'm sure you understand the seriousness of the sin you're committing. Because your boyfriend is still married, you are committing adultery. You are right to call your decision to violate God's laws "profane."

If you want your relationship to become an eternal marriage, you have a long journey ahead of you. Here are the steps you should take:

1) Stop sinning. Both of you should choose to suspend your relationship until his divorce is finalized. After he is divorced, you can continue to have a romantic relationship, but you should never break the law of chastity again. Sex outside of marriage is never acceptable. If you want to have a sexual relationship with him, marry him civilly as soon as he is divorced.

2) You should both confess your sin to your respective bishops immediately. Since you are both return missionaries, you may be excommunicated. Excommunication does not mean that you're being "kicked out of the church." Excommunication is an important step in the repentance process when serious sins have been committed. You should continue to go to Church during the entire repentance process.

3) After your repentance is complete, and assuming you have been excommunicated, you should be rebaptized. Baptism is a cleansing ordinance. With baptism, you'll finally be free from the sins you've committed, through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

Mormon Temple
The Recife Mormon temple in Recife, Brazil.
4) After baptism, you'll need to spend one year preparing for a temple marriage. Unless you choose to marry civilly, do not have sexual relations with each other. Sex outside of marriage will of course indicate that you are not ready for temple worship and will delay your temple marriage further.

5) After one year of preparation, you could be married in the temple. Your relationship with your boyfriend could then be eternal. You could be together even after death.

I encourage you to begin this process as soon as possible, friend. You've committed some serious sins, but through Christ's atonement, you can recover spiritually. That is the miracle of forgiveness. Good luck.

Anonymous:


Fast pray and live the commandments. Then you will get the guidance and strength that you need to prosper. And by doing this and getting God's guidance, you will feel good about the direction that you are going and you will be able to put the past behind you and begin a new chapter in your life. In this way you can progress as a person. With God nothing is impossible, therefore what ever direction you need you can receive. So therefore receive.
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