I am not a member of the LDS church, my wife of 15 years is. I am dad to her two awesome daughters, now 18 and 16. I adore my wife and family. I do not know why I am resistant to the church. I grew up without religion. She is a life long LDS member. I have always supported her from afar, attending sacrament meetings and kid programs. But I’ve never taken steps until recently, and have started to read the BOM. A few days ago my wife said she had enough and wants out of our marriage. She thinks this is a bridge that cannot be crossed. I am not sure what to do. I love my family and my wife. She loves me but does not see a future. What should I do?

Brian from Spokane Valley,



2 Responses to “I am not a member of the LDS church, my wife of 15 years…”


Jorge Santana
2018-12-31 01:04:44
Hi Brian. I'm so sorry to hear about these challenges. A marriage is a precious thing that should be preserved whenever possible. I hope you and your wife are able to save yours.

I suggest you both meet with the bishop of your local congregation. He'll be able to help you both work through the spiritual challenges you're facing.

I also suggest you meet with a marriage counselor, who will hopefully be able to help you work through the emotional and social aspects of your situation. Try to find a marriage counselor who is interested in preserving marriages. Surprisingly, not all are. Perhaps the bishop will have some recommendations.

Finally, it's excellent that you're reading the Book of Mormon and that you support your wife in her faith. I suggest reading the scriptures and attending church services together. It will strengthen you both spiritually and may help her understand that you do have a spiritual future together after all.

I hope this answer helps, and I hope the two of you manage to improve your situation together. I'll pray for you.
Baba P.
2018-12-23 16:01:23
Dear Brian,

I know how difficult it is to watch someone you love and pray for be seemingly resistant to taking steps toward membership. As a long-time convert, I tried to be the best example of my chosen faith. I was shocked one day when this person asked why we didn't study the scriptures together. There was a yearning there that I was unaware of. Things began to fall into place and many small miracles happened. This person joined after 35 years of prayer on her behalf.

Perhaps your wife is simply weary at this point. Please let her know that you are studying the Book of Mormon. That may give her renewed hope. Perhaps studying it together would be something that would shore up both of you. If you don't know why you are resistant, you can pray for clarification. I am sure you are both good people and pray that you will be blessed with strength to change in ways that will benefit the love that you still have for each other.

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