I was raised in the LDS church but left at age 20 because I felt uncomfortable in the YSA ward. You see, I’m asexual and the very thought of dating and/or intimacy is terrifying and revolting to me. Everyone thought it was because I was shy, not because I feel absolutely no attraction. In any case, I came to dread Sunday and would go home and cry because I felt so inadequate and confused. I watched my sister date and marry and have a child (with another on the way) and feel like I’m broken. I’m 24 now and ironically, my dad is the YSA bishop. I’m debating whether or not to return. On the one hand, I miss the spiritual aspect of church, but the second marriage is mentioned I’m likely to have a meltdown. I did date a non-mormon guy for a few weeks, but called it off after he tried to kiss me. I realized I’m a people-pleaser and am likely to get hurt letting them take it farther than I’m okay with out of the sense of I “should” let them. I’m lonely. I don’t want to live alone with my dog for the rest of my life and my heart cries every time I see my mom and sister get together to do homemaking and family things. I love kids and work as a teacher and would probably make a great mom, but I refuse to let a man touch me. I wish the church would address the issue. I was such a happy and fulfilled church member until the YSA ward. Now I don’t know where I belong.