Is it still possible to receive eternal blessings in the afterlife with a spouse who is not a member?

I am a non-member who deeply cares about a member. I’ve personally searched for answers in a God but that answer hasn’t come to me. I don’t dismiss the possibility. The thing I love most about this member is his strong love of the gospel and his devotion to serving others. He is quite the catch but I don’t want to be selfish and interfere with his goals. I might not have answers until I die but I would be receptive with open arms to discover an afterlife. For many, discovering their beliefs is easy but for me it’s not. I strive to have openness and I lead a life with the values of loving and respecting others.

I’m open to supporting this man in his beliefs and I’m open to his desire for children to be raised in his faith. I’ve sat in many church meetings and know good principles are taught. I’ve even read that it’s possible for non-members to hold some callings. These are things I’d be happy to do.

His goal is a temple marriage and it saddens us both that that might not ever happen. I love & respect him knowing it would be unfair to him if I stand in the way of his happiness.

I also know of the temple work done for those who pass away giving opportunities to those who didn’t get those opportunities but would that temple work suffice? Would he still get all of the blessings he’s worked hard for? Would I have the opportunity to find truth and blessings?


One Response to “Is it still possible to receive eternal blessings in the…”

Lucas Silva
2018-12-02 10:59:41
Hi Mary. Much thanks for your very interesting question. One of the things that struck me is your sincerity. I appreciate your honesty and your desire to do the right thing.

Certainly your attitude towards the church would help overcome many of the challenges that often occur in interfaith marriages. For example, you're willing to support your boyfriend in his faith, you respect the good that the church can do, you're willing to raise your children in the faith and to even participate in church callings. These things would strengthen your relationship.
Members of the Church believe that marriages performed in temples are sealed, or blessed to last for eternity.
It is still true, of course, that temple marriage requires a lot of preparation, and part of that preparation is making the promises associated with baptism.

Your question about how God will resolve situations like these in the next life is a complicated one. On one hand, there are circumstances when a sealing is not possible for reasons entirely beyond one's control. For example, a husband (already married) might join the church, but his wife chooses not to join. A person in this kind of circumstance clearly won't be denied any blessings in the life to come. I do think that vicarious sealings will play an important role in fixing such situations. On the other hand, there are those who don't value the sealing ordinance enough to properly prepare themselves. It's hard to believe that such a choice won't have some consequences in the life to come.

As a mere mortal, I can't judge where your situation falls in between these two extremes. Thankfully, those kinds of judgements are best left in God's hands.

A question related to yours is: how strong must one's testimony be to join the church? There are those who join for convenience (e.g., to please another person), even though they have no desire to make a commitment to church beliefs and practices. On the other hand, there are those who mistakenly think they must have a perfect knowledge before joining the church. That's also a mistake, because there are many baptized church members who are also still developing their testimonies. The key is that they have a desire to acquire that testimony, and they're working towards it.

You also seem to have that desire. It's not clear to me that you couldn't be baptized, if you wanted to be. This article, which I wrote a few years ago, might be helpful:

I hope this answer helps! Please let me know if you have any additional questions. I'm happy to help. I hope to hear one day that your story has a happy ending! :)

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